Of course the beauty of present circumstances and situations, the now, always seem to be the ultimate, the most intense or profound experience in comparison to the experience that may have taken place before. Whenever extreme emotion is expressed all else becomes inconsequential. What's my point? The feelings created by this relationship are not feelings that haven't been felt before (reality). This is the first time though that they are being experienced with these factors. In retrospect my life has been dotted with romantic equations, at their least challenging, at their most impossible. It can be easily said the challenge is a great part of the motivation that keeps it alive. I feel focused on. He is beautiful, absolutely. A sheltering stature and a calming energy. Beyond that I feel needed. His feigned naivete, boyish charm and innocence, humility and sense of humor make for a most wonderful man. What does he get out of this though? What keeps him around? Not being self-deprecating but it would be nice to know, to not guess or speculate as to what he sees. I'm not sure he levels with me. I know very little about him, about the past, the experiences that have helped shape this man I love so much.
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