A friend last night said that questioning our motivations is important. It was in response to my response to his question on why I’m blogging.
He also agreed that it should be primarily for me and while developing a following was important it should happen and not be the driving force behind why I do it.
In part my blogging was inspired by repeated calls for more Caribbean voices to be online, too the freedom of an autonomous place for expression can be nice.
My raison d’etre is also fuelled by my like for writing, the belief that I have a point of view worth sharing and a way with words.
I recently read what can be termed two subversive books: Apocalypse by DH Lawrence and Theatre of the Oppressed by Augusto Boal.
They both are quite frank and critical in their analysis of life A.D.
I am marking my ten year anniversary of treating Clinical Depression this month…TMI? Maybe. The diagnosis at least gave a name to an unsettling disquiet in my being that does wane but at worst obscures my view of what I believe is a beautiful world.
Popular thinking says that life is fun, life is easy, dreams can come true and I am perfect. This has not been my experience.
I started believing I was carrying too much inside, despite years of therapy. In a search for truth I engage in psychoanalysis and talk therapy that allows me to voice the noise of my mind in a safe, neutral environment.
Scott Peck in The Road Less Travelled, like Lawrence says all man has come up with is temporary respite from the anguish of life in the form of yoga, biofeedback and other techniques. Peck’s opening line is “Life is difficult.”
Blogging in part is an attempt at easing the pain. Apart from being entertaining, provocative and honest among other things I aim to do like some other things in life, provide an opportunity to perhaps unite in thought with my reader and dare to believe I have a right to express myself even if what I produce does not align with the preferred order.
The double edged sword is that from what I’ve read there is no panacea for life’s pains and too there is consequence, so by baring my soul even if in metaphor it can have possible unwanted results, cynical yes I know.
Most of what I have read recently, though, says the troubled condition of modern man is inherently linked to the dominant institutions that we have built and sustain.
Bob Marley says “…total destruction the only solution…” 3Canal sing in their song Blue “…turn the whole world upside down…”. While I cant say I have such ambitions I must say I do find the sentiments inspiring.