A Losing Game by Amy Whiner

There is no point in playing a game you know you’ll win, it’s part of the thrill of the thing. Amy Winehouse said Love is a Losing Game yet we play it over and over. I agree with her but that is based on my experiences at least in romantic love, its not a department I’d say I have had success in. There are other games we play, though, even if we don’t want to it seems that we have to.

I got an invitation to a party today from a friend. I immediately responded and said I wont be attending then I thought to myself that he invited me because he wanted me to come so I then sent another message saying I may come.

Now I have been accused of making much ado about nothing as a rule but I respond by saying who feels it knows.

This is Trinidad and Tobago where the nation trumps all. As a small country every birth counts and so procreation is revered above all else. It has implications for the future labor force, attendances at fetes and numbers in carnival bands and pan sides. Most of us accept this and so the national dialogue has little room for anything else.

How then do I explain to my friend that…you know…straight fetes cause problems for people who are not straight not exactly in the same way that not straight fetes only attract not straight people but akin.

So here I go agreeing to play that game that always sees me losing. The game of silence when so much has to be said, like “wow he's fine”, “did she really wear that” and other things that only non-straight men say.

This in no way really gets to the depth of the hegemony of which I speak but it does suggest that in the interest of nation many compromises are made.

The funny thing is that my friend, like many who may be at the fete, knows that not all of us are straight and to an extent the attendance of non-straights at straight events is a but of an endorsement as non-straights are thought to be of discerning taste on one level and too such a rarity that they can also be seen as an attraction. You’re allowed to disagree with that last statement.

So in deciding to go out in a country where for the most part the heterosexual hegemonic are only second to the closeted cartel it is with the knowledge that we are engaging in the game, one I don’t feel that I win. Maybe, just maybe it’s the game of love.