Whether I like it or not I feel as if God is always present, whether within me or in Heaven where seated at his right hand is the Son. Part of this feeling, though, is that God is also watching me. This is not a view of me that is without judgement in my mind, it may be the product of feeling as if one wants to live by God's rules. This can be aspired to even if to inherit the promise of the only gift worth having for many, Eternal Life. I have to say, too, that God may be looking out for me. While on the surface this may seem like the position most would like expressed because it speaks of God's protection, to me it is dangerous in that it prejudges my experiences as consequent of bad decisions and actions and too that there are situations to be ware of, people too.
I am challenged to live outside of consideration of God. There are so many reminders that even when my own faith wanes there is a hand clasped in prayer on every other car window, anointed couples driving home as I do otherwise. There is the praise of Amen as exclaimed by many or the prayer "bless" that is also used by many. It's hard to not feel as if yes, my world is Christian.
That then makes the enemy real in that we know of the tensions between religions that have existed for centuries. While this may be true for the Middle East in the main there is reason for me to be concerned.
It seems that Islamic extremism is more pervasive than we realise. The West has become since 9/11, a new frontier where international terrorism is now squarely on the agendas of many governments. Recent events in Trinidad and Tobago, right here, show that more than any other religious group Muslims are willing to engage in the use of heavy artillery. I will admit that many murders can be committed by Christians in this country the difference would be that they are not done in defence of the religion or in the name of the faith.
Am I as a Christian under threat here? The answer may be more complex for it is only I and God who know the strength of my faith. I say this knowing that I do things that moral beings would think reprehensible. It was Imam Yasin Abu Bakr who said that the scourge of drugs was taking over the country and all other forms of intolerable activities and so the attempted coup of 1990 was born. What if on not a national scale but even through a public calling out of transgressions as is often done here I am made to face a mutiny of vigilante style no longer willing to tolerate my ways? It has happened to me before.
I do not believe the Devil made me, I was made by God. No one can fully understand who I am based on where i came from genetically. That is to say that yes Science may explain procreation and the reproductive process but it would take them a while to understand the unique creations that we all really are. Science will not say that God is inside of me yet this is something me and my friends say to each other all the time. God would not be inside of me if I was not naturally conceived. It is one of the overlooked issues in cloning and the like...connection to Source.
So as a product of God, namely a Child, all that is Jesus' is also mine. I am not without Sin and we know because we know I am not Jesus. I am though allowed to live without fear even if it is dark and I cannot see where I am going. Even if if feels murky and I am cold.
Nothing ever happens before it happens. So ask me what is real? I don't know. What I do know is that there is at times tangible, palpable, plausible fear caused by those who believe that violence achieves peace.